


shadow’s fairy tale

by wubling



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Baking, Chatting & Messaging, Christmas, Comfort, Coming Out, Confessions, Crushes, Domestic, Everyone Is Gay, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Friendship, Holidays, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Memory Related, Pre-Slash, Slice of Life, Swearing, Trauma, more or less, ooc probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-09-12 18:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wubling/pseuds/wubling
Summary: While being dragged on a Christmas shopping trip, Shadow spots a familiar storybook in a store window. A particular memory hits him.





	1. a princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been on a huge Sonic kick for awhile and I, uh...sorta can’t help but project gay feels onto characters I really like. Hence this Shadow centered fanfic about being gay. (I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that lmao)
> 
> I do have some concerns as I post this. I’m not well practiced in characterizing these guys and I’m not sure if this fits into any particular canon. I just know that I wanted to write a cute holiday story with some emotions. I hope it suffices for that at least! Also, I don’t anticipate I’ll have this done by Christmas or even within the month, but I intend to finish it if I can (unless it’s received poorly I guess?). Hopefully finals won’t kick my butt too hard and I can get cracking on the next chapters soon!
> 
> Thanks for sitting through these silly notes! Hope you enjoy!

There was a storybook in the window.

Shadow spotted it as Sonic was holding his wrist, dragging him forward. He was going too slow supposedly and they needed to find the jewelry store Amy liked. So Sonic yanked on his arm, taking Shadow past building after building, none of which displayed anything of interest. Until the bookstore on the corner went by. Shadow dug in his heels and stared inside.

The cover was the same - a watercolor picture of a princess with long hair draped over her windowsill. Her locks poured down the side of the brick tower like a waterfall. The lettering of the title was in a curled font with a glittery finish.

There was a storybook in the window. And Shadow remembered it.

_“We’re reading this one again?”_

_“I know, I’m sorry. But you know it’s my favorite!”_

_“I’m not complaining, I just don’t understand. Why do you like it so much?”_

_“Well...I guess it’s because I want to be her. She has to be cooped up so high in the sky just like me, and of course I have you and we’ll get down to Earth together someday, but...sometimes I dream of a knight in shining armor - or a spacesuit, I suppose - whisking me away to a better life.”_

_“Maria...”_

_“Let’s just read it one more time, okay?”_

 

“Shads? You alright?”

Shadow shook the memory from his head. Something about it was making his heart ache, but he’d been interrupted from it, not remembering enough to know why. What was so poignant about this particular read through of the story? Why did Maria sound so...uneasy?

Sonic let go of his arm and gave him a steady pat on the shoulder. “We can...walk slower, if you want.”

Shadow gulped, turning a bit red from the embarrassment of being comforted by Sonic the damn Hedgehog. “No...I’m fine. We need to get there before the stores start closing,” he reasoned.

“Alright, if you say so. We don’t have to run though! I need to talk to you anyway, I have no idea what kind of bracelet I should get Amy! She keeps mentioning this store, but I feel like-“

Sonic rambled on and on as they began to walk. Shadow quickly realized Sonic’s hand stayed on his shoulder, still leading him down the sidewalk. Shadow blushed some more, shaking the hand off. Sonic barely noticed, still asking questions about jewelry that Shadow had no way of knowing the answer to. Just making meaningless conversation that was already leaving him tired.

Even as they walked into the big glass doors and felt the heat blow onto their winter coats, Shadow could feel his chest hurt and could remember the weight of Sonic’s careful grip trying to comfort him.

 

* * *

 

As much as Shadow wanted to know how the rest of the situation went down, he tried to focus on other festive activities. He’d spent enough time recollecting memories in the past to know that forcing it wouldn’t work. Hopefully, within time, the rest of the memory would come naturally. So he stayed occupied with gingerbread houses and fairy lights.

Shadow wasn’t necessarily a fan of the holidays. If asked, he would join the group for movies. He also didn’t mind taste testing Amy and Blaze’s new cookie recipes. It was just that all the joy and family values of the season didn’t really sit with him. No one really blamed him, but they still invited him to these events. He supposed it was kind of them to do so, if not a bit annoying at times.

The tree in the center of Club Rouge was already decorated with ornaments after a lot of time decorating for such events. Rouge was hovering around it, wrapping it in tinsel. Shadow held the box of silver strands for her. He didn’t speak much - just listened as Rouge absent-mindedly explained her day. It was warm under his bulky sweater, so Shadow was comfortable, even while doing such a menial task.

“But what’s up with you?” Rouge suddenly asked. “I’ve been talking about myself this whole time-“

Shadow smirked. “Not a big surprise.”

“Watch it, hedgehog! I’m trying to be nice over here! It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve caught up like this.”

“What a charitable soul,” he said sarcastically. “Nothing’s ‘up’ with me. I’ve been dragged along for the ride this whole season, but that’s to be expected.”

They fell silent again. Shadow felt a sudden tension and knew that Rouge was looking for a particular answer. He stared her down until she finally sighed.

“Sonic and I had a chat yesterday. I stopped by his house to borrow ornaments, remember? So he was asking me about gift ideas and he told me about the trip he took you on recently.”

Shadow pursed his lips. “To buy Amy’s gifts? What about it?”

“He said you stopped in front of the window staring at some children’s book.” Rouge caught Shadow tense up, and she gave him a stern look. “I’m not gonna make you tell me. But if you don’t, I’ll probably find out some other way.”

“...You know, you don’t _have_ to be a spy every moment.”

“Life’s more fun that way. Hand me some more tinsel?”

Shadow obliged. After a few seconds of silence, he finally caved. “Maria used to read it to me.”

“Ah.”

That seemed to shut her up for the duration of the tinsel wrapping. Once Rouge finished, she landed on the floor and took a few steps back. She admired her handiwork with hands on her hips. Shadow set the box down to join her. The tree looked quite nice, admittedly. He thought that he’d barely done anything to help, but Rouge offered to make them both some hot chocolate as a reward anyway.

Rouge was perfect at making the warm drink. Shadow sipped it slowly while she studied him from across the table they sat at. He eventually set his mug down and stared back.

“I’m assuming you stopped because you were remembering something.” Shadow clenched his fist. There she went again. He thought that maybe Rouge had dropped the subject. Instead, she continued. “You sometimes get distant like that when you think about her...”

Shadow glared. “It’s not any of your damn business.”

Rouge sighed. There was no real heat in his words. He was just uncomfortable now. She wasn’t the most open person either, but seeing the hedgehog zoning out and moping around would do her no favors. She couldn’t help but feel a familiar frustration. He never would willingly ask for help. Rouge knew that, but it still frustrated her sometimes.

“Fine, fine,” Rouge muttered. “It’s fine. I should head out anyway. Gotta give the rest of the tinsel back to Amy.” She sauntered into the other room to retrieve the box.

Shadow took a deep breath to calm himself. Then, cautiously poking fun, he yelled, “Do you own _anything_ we put on the tree?”

Rouge snorted. “I didn’t steal any of it this time! That should count for something!”

Shadow waited until he heard the door close. As soon as Rouge was gone, he relaxed into his seat and groaned. He hated that she had to pry. What did it matter if he admitted anything to her? Why did she care if he was a bit quieter than usual? What would even be the difference?

Shadow paused at that thought. That particular sentence. Something felt strange about it. Tangible. He felt like it was a mental thread. He grabbed it and began unraveling.

What would be the difference?

 

_“If the roles were reversed, I mean. What if a girl put on the knight’s armor? In fact, I don’t think we see the face of the knight at all - he could actually be a she the whole time!_

_“I...suppose. But I don’t understand why they would get married at the end then.”_

_“Well...Shadow...I believe some humans on Earth can fall in love with each other no matter who they are. Th-That’s what they say, anyhow.”_

_“Hm...”_

_“...Sh-Shadow...I think I should say, I-“_

 

“Damn it! What did she say after that?”

Shadow pulled at the spikes on his head. He screamed out in frustration at the faded images his mind produced. He tried in vain to find something coherent but simply couldn’t.

Shadow hopped from his seat, knocking the table and sending the rest of his hot chocolate to the floor. With another few swears, he decided that he needed to leave too. A walk wouldn’t help him get the memory through per se, but thinking while angry wasn’t one of his strong suits.He hoped it would calm him down at the very least. It beat burying himself under his bed covers or punching the club’s walls, anyhow. He wasn’t even quite sure where he was going when he left. After a decent-sized trek through the snow, he ended up at the house Sonic and Tails shared, looking into the windows where their own dimly lit tree glittered.

He swallowed his pride and knocked on their door. He was grateful that Sonic was a good host: he didn’t ask many questions when inviting Shadow in.

 

* * *

 

Sonic’s home quickly became the main meeting spot for himself and his friends. Shadow found himself there a lot more often as days went by.

“Thank you, Shadow! I know helping me bake isn’t your favorite thing to do, but you always know just how many extra chocolate chips to add, you know?”

Shadow only grunted in response. Amy’s kind words were appreciated, but it still seemed silly that she should ask him of all people. The current batch of guests were finishing up decorating. There were plenty of candidates for Amy to make cookies with. Shadow was a strange choice to make.

“Now, lemme grab the pan. I think it’s in the...sink cupboard?” Amy opened the small door and frowned. “No...Maybe the...pantry shelf? No, I reorganized the pantry, I wouldn’t have put it back.” Shadow glanced to the counter behind him to grab some sugar when he saw the silver tray she was looking for. He snapped his fingers a few times and pointed to it. “Well...no need to be rude,” Amy huffed.

“Hmph.”

Amy swiped the pan and began scooping globs of batter onto it. Once she finished, she popped the tray into the oven and set the timer. Shadow was just untying his apron (Amy insisted anyone cooking in her presence wear one) when she snapped her own fingers.

“Hey! I’m talking to you! And I can get snippy too!”

Shadow blinked. “Repeat that. I wasn’t listening.”

“I could tell.” Amy sighed and crossed her arms. “While the cookies bake, I thought I’d have a little chat with you.”

Shadow immediately had an idea of what the topic was. He groaned. “Don’t tell me Rouge-“

“Rouge only told me a little bit, I promise! She just said that you and Sonic went out Christmas shopping together.”

“Yes. The idiot couldn’t figure out what to get for...” Not even someone as aloof as Shadow could break the unspoken promise of not spoiling a gift. He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter who. We were buying gifts. What?” He didn’t appreciate the concerned look on Amy’s face. “Do you think I did something to him?”

“No! I just...don’t know how to put this delicately...”

“Don’t, then. I’m not fragile.”

“Fine! Shadow, you’re not gay, are you?”

 _That_ wasn’t what Shadow was expecting at all. At first, he could only blink and stare at her, completely confused. He knew what she was asking of course, but it’s not like being gay was a topic that had come up in discussion before. In fact, the word itself wasn’t one he’d heard in awhile. The last time was...

No, he wouldn’t focus on that now. This was the wrong time to have a painful flashback. Shadow tried his best to ignore the morbid nostalgia of the accusation.

“What the hell are you on about?” he finally choked out.

Amy sighed. “That was a horrible way to say it. I shouldn’t have even asked such a personal question,” she admitted. “I don’t care if you _are_ gay. I’m fine with that, just...I still like Sonic a lot, you know? I’ve understood for awhile now that I don’t have a shot with him, but I guess...I don’t know.” She looked sad all of a sudden. “I guess I just want to make sure he doesn’t get hurt.”

Shadow’s heart was racing. He was glad all of a sudden that his darker colors helped hide blushing, but he wasn’t sure why he was blushing in the first place. It was the embarrassment of being asked something like that so bluntly, right? Of course, he thought. There wasn’t any other explanation.

Shadow began to describe the situation. “I don’t know why he invited me specifically, but he took me to buy presents. I held us back because something caught my eye and he and Rouge seem to think I’m upset about it. Nothing...’gay’ happened.” He turned to the oven and slipped on Amy’s oven mitts, as the timer was beginning to reach zero. “You don’t need to poke around Sonic’s love life anyway. He’s a grown adult and so are you. He’d old enough to make his own decisions and you’re old enough to move the hell on.”

Shadow pulled out the sheet of cookies. They looked just about perfect. When he put them down on the oven and turned to Amy, he saw her expression and felt a pang of...something. It wouldn’t be guilt, he reasoned, as he rarely had problems being blunt, even if it hurt. Maybe it was more like...empathy? Mutual understanding? That was the impression Shadow was getting. For what reason, he wasn’t sure.

“...I mean...You can find happiness without him,” he mumbled, trying to backtrack. “There’s no good reason to wait around for someone who won’t come to you. Plenty of people are around that’ll treat you right.

Amy couldn’t hold back the small, grateful grin on her face. “Thank you, Shadow.”

Shadow blushed, huffing. “Whatever.” He pushed the cookie tray towards her. “You should take those.”

“Oh! Right! Everyone’s been working so hard, I bet they’ll appreciate a quick treat!” Amy took the tray. Just before she was out of the room though, she looked over her shoulder. “And Shadow? I...I hope you know that there’s someone that’ll treat you right too.”

There was something knowing about her. Shadow waved her away to avoid further embarrassment. As soon as Amy was gone, he leaned against the counter and closed his eyes. That memory from earlier, he had to pull it up again. It was so close to the surface, he just needed to think.

That word...

 

_“...Gay?”_

_“Yes, Shadow, I’m...I think I’m gay. I think I want...If that knight in shining armor came up here to sweep me off my feet, I’d hope for it to be a girl.”_

_“Wh-Why are you crying? Maria?”_

_“It’s just...so scary. People don’t understand. They think it’s wrong. I don’t want to be wrong.”_

_“You couldn’t possibly be wrong!”_

_“I just...don’t know, Shadow.”_

 

Shadow pressed his weight into the counter top to stabilize himself. Now he remembered what was so melancholy about that story book. It represented something for Maria, something she hid so deep inside herself that even telling the one she trusted most about it made her sob. The book represented hopes and dreams, but also rejection and fear. So much fear.

And now Amy, even with the support she gave the idea, thought Shadow was...gay. He had no idea how to take it. There was something taboo about it, if his memories were any indication. The thought of Amy mentioning it to the others made him want to scream. Shadow wasn’t sure at this point whether he was actually gay or not. All he knew was that he had friends now. He had people who trusted him. And he wasn’t willing to jeopardize it if they happened to be the people that found it “wrong”.

He decided that he would have to hide deep inside himself too. And given how closed off he already was, Shadow didn’t think it would be too hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this chapter, kudos are definitely appreciated and if you leave a comment, I’ll be forever in your debt!


	2. a tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With these new developments making Shadow concerned, he begins to close everyone off to think about them. Rouge ain’t having any of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year folks! Anyone still in the Christmas spirit? No? Well shoot, hope you’ll take this anyway
> 
> I gave fair warning that I wouldn’t have this fic updated or even done by the end of December, but I still feel kinda bad ;w; I hope you can still enjoy it even if it’s a bit late. And again, I will be finishing this fic, no matter how out of season it becomes!

Shadow spent the rest of the day trying his best to act like he hadn’t just made a big discovery. He decorated when asked, he talked when spoken to, everything he did before. But he felt like he wasn’t keeping up appearances well. He felt like they could see it. So he packed up some of the leftover cookies and left early. Shadow decided the best thing to do would be to be by himself for awhile, decide if he truly had anything to worry about.

 

* * *

 

When Shadow stopped showing up at holiday prep events, Sonic began to text.

Shadow supposed they texted before then. Long before, actually. He had a decent amount of archived messages, ranging from mission directions to funny videos that Sonic was sure would get Shadow to laugh. The point is, Sonic texting Shadow would be normal in most cases. But with Shadow locking himself in Club Rouge, unwilling to leave for a few days, the texts became more frequent.

 

_**(12/12)** **Faker:** Shads! Didn’t see u in the caroling group! Saved u some hot coco tho, stop by to pick it up if u want it!!!_

_**(12/12)** **Faker:** If u don’t hurry up Tails is gonna steal it lmao_

_**(12/13)** **Faker:** Silver and Blaze are coming by to put up the extra outdoor lights but we could use an extra hand! U free?_

_**(12/13)** **Faker:** Hellooooo???_

_**(12/14)** **Faker:** Rouge says u haven’t been out. U okay?_

_**(12/14)** **Faker:** U can talk to me if u need to_

_**(12/15)** **Faker:** Shadow?_

_**(12/15)** **Faker:** I don’t wanna pry but pls lemme kno if ur ok_

_**(12/15)** **Faker:** Pls?_

_**(12/15)** **Faker:** If ur mad just tell me and I’ll leave u alone_

 

Shadow couldn’t bring himself to put his phone on silent. For those few days, it sat on the bedside table, frequently checked but never answered.

 

* * *

 

“I’m not leaving a plate outside the door again! Either you eat with me or you’re not getting any dinner!”

Shadow didn’t realize he’d been sleeping when Rouge rapped on his door. He sighed. “...Fine. Be there in a moment.”

“You’d better!”

He listened to her high heels click away towards the kitchen. Shadow let himself stay beneath his covers at first. The feeling of calm, mindless calm, was refreshing. But he knew that soon enough he’d have to go out and eat and then he would have to come back to think and suddenly the calm wasn’t so mindless anymore.

As soon as Shadow entered the kitchen, Rouge dropped a plate of food at his usual seat. He silently sat down and began to eat. Rouge at first acted as if everything was normal, which Shadow sort of appreciated. He let himself calm down again.

But of course, she eventually had to ask. “What’s been up with you these past few days?”

Shadow grit his teeth. He turned away from her, suddenly pausing his meal.

“Shadow. Don’t ignore me, buddy. You know that doesn’t work.

“...Yes, I know.”

Rouge pointed her fork at him accusingly. “Look, if you’re going through something, I get it. If it’s about that...book...” Shadow clenched his fists. If Rouge noticed, she didn’t mention it. “...I get it. But could ya at least let the others know you’re out of commission?”

“...The point of this is for me to be alone with my thoughts,” Shadow explained. He checked Rouge’s face. Her expression didn’t give away her thoughts. He grimaced and continued. “It’s not the ideal time to do it, admittedly...but I have to do it now or else I’ll...” He took a deep breath in. “I have to do it now. That’s...all I’ll say.”

The bat across from him rapped her fingers against the table. She had a bit of a pout on her face. “Is that really all I get?” she asked.

Shadow huffed. “I’ll say...I’ll say that I’m trying to figure something out. It might...change how they all see me. So I have to decide if I should be concerned or not, and then I can plan from there. Is that any better?”

“I guess? Not really, though.”

Shadow shrugged. Rouge realized he wasn’t going to say much else, so she calmly got up and wandered out of the room. Curiously, Shadow watched her leave, slowly returning to the meal. When she came back however, he nearly spit his food back out.

“I thought you were better at keeping secrets than this, Shads! Master thieves need better targets than a phone left out on a table! I might get rusty!”

“R-Rouge! What the hell is wrong with you? Give me my phone!”

“No! I’m investigating! I bet you have an angsty blog to rant on or something and since you won’t tell me...!”

“If you don’t-!”

Rouge put up her hand. Face burning, Shadow watched as she tapped away at the screen. After a few seconds she began to read. Then she looked up at Shadow and flipped it around to show his text messages.

“You need to at least respond to Sonic, you know! He’s worried sick! Have you even read these?”

Shadow scowled at the phone. He nodded, but realized there were two more texts from that afternoon that he hadn’t seen before.

 

_**(12/16)** **Faker:** Amy says she’s “sorry about happened the other day”. She says u wouldn’t want me blabbing about it so she didn’t tell me what happened???_

_**(12/16)** **Faker:** I won’t invite both of u to the same parties or anything, if that’s what was worrying u._

Shadow’s heart fluttered at Sonic’s concern. He determined it was embarrassment.

“Seeing him squirm is funny and all,” Rouge said, hands on her hips. “But it’s going to get out of hand if it hasn’t already.”

Shadow pursed his lips and stayed silent.

“...Tell me what happened with Amy. Even if it’s just a snippet, I want to know.”

If there was anyone he could confide in, Shadow supposed it was Rouge. She knew his past and motivations and flaws the whole time they’d been friends and she still wasn’t going anywhere. And besides all that...he really needed that phone back.

“...She had me help her with the cookies. She asked me about the book and about the trip with Sonic. She thought I was...up to something. I put that to rest and she left me alone.”

“What did she think you were up to?”

“She...She thinks I’m gay. She thinks I’m in love with him or something. I don’t know.”

“...Huh.”

Shadow looked up at Rouge. The non-communal grunting sound she made was not what he’d been expecting. “What do you mean ‘huh’?”

“I guess I thought it’d be more dramatic,” Rouge admitted. “And I’m not sure why you’re all bothered by that if it was such a ridiculous claim.”

She stared Shadow down, her eyes squinting as she examined him. He felt like he was under a microscopic all of a sudden. He clenched his fists again. Rouge sighed, sliding the phone across the table. Shadow quickly pocketed it.

After a few seconds of silence, Rouge mumbled, “...It’s not ridiculous, is it?”

“I don’t love Sonic.”

“That wasn’t the part that bugged you. If it was, you wouldn’t have even mentioned that she thought you were gay. You wouldn’t have needed to.”

Shadow cursed under his breath. She could read him too damn well. “That’s why I’m here,” he explained. “I don’t...I didn’t  _think_ I was gay. I wouldn’t have even known what that was but I remembered a conversation I had once...Maria told me she was attracted to women and she was terrified of other people knowing. I figured if I could determine that I wasn’t gay, I wouldn’t have to worry about the others. I wouldn’t have to be scared like she was.”

Rouge nodded in understanding. “Well, exploration isn’t a bad thing. And it doesn’t have to be too hard!” She walked around the table and put a hand on Shadow’s shoulder. “I’ll help you out! Then, if you feel the need to come out, I’ll help you with that too!”

“...’Come out’? What am I coming out of?”

“You know, coming out. Out of the closet.”

“Why am I in a closet?”

Rouge chuckled. “Oh boy. Lots to explain. Lemme run you through the basics.”

 

* * *

 

The plaza was bustling. Snow wasn’t currently falling, but a decent layer of it had settled on the ground. People walked around, shopping for Christmas gifts and decorations. Rouge sat Shadow down on a bench and as they sipped expensive pumpkin flavored drinks, she encouraged Shadow to be on the look out.

“This first experiment is pretty easy. If you find yourself attracted to someone, point them out. Go by your gut and don’t hold back.”

“...Fine.”

Shadow took a long sip. His eyes darted back and forth. Everyone in the crowd looked unremarkable. There were children in coats two sizes too big. There were men with long scrolls of shopping lists popping in and out of stores. A small choir began to sing by the crosswalk. It was pleasant, Shadow thought, but no one stood out.

“Ooh, what about that cutie?” Rouge suggested. Shadow followed her pointing finger, landing on a pair of men. Shadow had no idea which one she was referring to. Neither looked any different from any other random in the crowd.

Bluntly, Shadow muttered, “No.”

“Hm. Maybe she’s more your style?”

The girl Rouge gestured to was pretty for sure - she had bright blonde hair like Maria’s and Shadow liked that - but he didn’t feel any different when he looked at her.

"I don’t think this is working, Rouge. How do I even know?”

“Maybe it’s more subconscious for you. Sometimes when people get crushes, they get sweaty palms, their heart beats faster, they blush a lot...if any of those happen, let me know and we can look into it.”

“I doubt my heart would race just from seeing someone.”

“You have a point. You might need to talk to them.”

“Wait-“

“Miss! Hey miss, my friend has a question!”

A few girls turned, but Rouge quickly caught the eye of the blonde and waved at her enthusiastically. Shadow panicked and slapped his hand over her mouth. The girl stared for a few seconds, gave a nervous smile, and slowly began to walk away. Rouge giggled to herself while Shadow began to massage his temples.

“What happened to helping me?”

“I was trying! You should’ve gone over there!”

“I had nothing to say! This whole thing was a huge mistake, I’m just going to-“

Just as Shadow was standing up to leave, he felt a hand grab his wrist. Shadow froze up. The grip lessened almost immediately. He heard the new person apologize and turned to give them a peace of his mind, but...

“Shads, it’s really you! Sorry to grab you like that, bud, but I’m so glad to see you! You’re doing better then? How are you feeling?”

“S-Sonic.” Shadow gave a curt nod as his greeting. The adrenaline from getting grabbed out of the blue was still lingering, so he tried his best to calm himself. “I’m alright. I’ve been trying to step away for a bit. That’s all.”

Sonic pouted. “Yeah, but you just up and vanished! I thought you were having fun this year!”

Shadow sighed. “Yes, well. I always appreciate the invitations.” He finally realized Sonic’s hand was still holding his arm. He shook it away with a frown. “Closing myself off had nothing to do with you. Or anyone else for that matter. Don’t worry about it. You have plenty of others to pester this time of year anyway.”

Sonic chuckled at that. Shadow saw Rouge from the corner of his eye, standing and pulling a few dollar bills out of her coat pocket. She walked beside him and leaned on his shoulders. “I managed to yank him out of his emo corner for some fresh air today. We were actually just about to take a nice walk around the plaza,” she explained. Her smile was mischievous, but Sonic didn’t seem to realize it. “Why don’t you tag along?”

Shadow opened his mouth to protest, but Sonic immediately replied: “Aw yeah! I was getting so bored looking around the stores by myself!”

“Before we do though, I’d want to talk to Shadow in private.” Rouge held out the bills. “Would you be a dear and get us each a pumpkin spice from the nearby coffee shop? This should be enough for all three of us.”

“No problemo!”

Sonic sped down the sidewalk, money clutched tightly in his hand. Shadow felt a weight lift off him as soon as the blue hedgehog ran away. “What was that about?” he asked. Rouge didn’t hate Sonic by any means, but actively seeking to hang out with him wasn’t typically her style.

She gave Shadow’s shoulder a firm pat. “I’m just wondering if maybe Amy had a point!”

“I’m not-!”

“Hey, hey, lemme finish!” Shadow bit his tongue. “I just want to see if her hunch held any water. Just try to act normal and I’ll let you know if you’re giving anything away.”

Shadow plopped back down on the bench. He crossed his arms and turned away from Rouge to hide the hard blush on his face. “If you really wanted the best results, you shouldn’t have told me any of that. Now I’ll just be thinking about how you’re studying me.” Rouge giggled at this, but didn’t give a rebuttal.

When Sonic returned, the three each took a drink. Shadow sipped it and found that it wasn’t completely cold, but it certainly was a lot cooler than it should’ve been. Rouge made a face as she took her own swig. Sonic used his free hand to scratch the back of his neck.

“I guess I ran so fast the wind cooled the drink off,” he said. “I’m sorry, guys.”

“It’s fine,” Shadow assured. He gulped down a large amount of the coffee and began to walk away. “Come on. We have a lot to look at.”

Sonic nodded and ran up beside him. He began to ramble about his adventures from that morning that led to him meeting them in the plaza. Rouge stayed just behind the two. She saw the patience in Shadow’s face and the way he twitched whenever the blue hedgehog got just a bit too close. She kept tabs on how many times he blushed or avoided eye contact. The tells were surprisingly clear.

Rouge was certain she’d hit the nail on the head.

 

* * *

 

Shadow had no idea how Rouge had convinced him to invite Sonic over. It felt like one moment he and Sonic were having a surprisingly pleasant conversation, then the next minute Rouge was pulling him aside again just to argue about the situation.

“I think she was right! I think you’re into him!”

“Y-You’re not serious!”

“Of course I am! We should invite him over! I’ll find a way to prove it to you!”

Eventually he was convinced to blurt the invitation and Sonic, for whatever reason, decided now would be an ideal time to stop the holiday preparation and just spend time at Club Rouge.

Needless to say, Shadow was on edge.

Rouge thought Shadow was showing telltale signs of a crush. Now, as the three walked back to the club, Shadow’s mind kept drifting to that thought. Thankfully, Rouge had Sonic distracted up ahead, asking questions about what sort of party he might throw for Christmas. Slowly trotting behind them, Shadow was glad to have a few minutes to think.

All the heart pounding moments and the shaking words Shadow could remember...he’d always found some way to brush them off. There was always an excuse for them. But now that Rouge had helped him lay them out like this, it seemed very clear that Shadow really did feel something for Sonic. He didn’t want to say it was love or anything like that. Perhaps it was just a silly crush that would diminish over time. It could even be admiration that was just developing strangely. Surely these weren’t anything to worry about!

But then he wondered if those were just more excuses.

Club Rouge was just around the corner. Shadow looked back up at his two friends, still deep in their talk. He saw Rouge with her mischievous eyes, probably making an innuendo of some sort, but her expression was soft and Shadow knew he trusted that face more than anyone else’s. She pretty much knew him better than he knew himself, right? So if she thought Shadow was taking a liking to Sonic, it was very likely the case.

And then Shadow looked to Sonic. He realized how quickly the small details came to mind for him. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. The way the sun lit up his spikes so that his blue color glowed. The contrast of his bright spikes and colorful jacket against the pale white snow. How pretty it was. How pretty  _he_ was in that moment that he was giggling at Rouge’s dumb jokes.

It finally struck Shadow. And that feeling of relief quickly changed to dread that burrowed in the pit of his stomach. Because how in the world was he supposed to tell anyone but Rouge?

 

* * *

 

Shadow half expected and half hoped that Sonic would stop by just to be polite and head off after a little bit. Fifteen minutes at most. But of course Rouge had to break out her hot chocolate again and, frankly, one would have to be an idiot to deny a cup of it. So Sonic, Shadow, and Rouge ended up sat in the kitchen. Shadow tried to chat as if nothing was going on, but he couldn’t stop staring at the spot where his last cup of hot choco had spilled. Where he’d knocked it to the floor in frustration.

After a good while, Rouge suddenly nudged Shadow with her foot. He snapped back to reality in time to hear the current discussion. “Have you seen that new movie? The romcom that everyone’s been talking about? I just saw it the other day!”

Shadow could tell she was pulling it out of her ass. To his knowledge, there wasn’t any new romcom out recently to begin with. But Sonic just tilted his head in confusion and gave a smile, clearly not realizing it himself. “I haven’t heard anything about it, actually. Is it good? Those aren’t usually my type of films.”

Rouge sighed, resting her chin on her palm as she leaned on the table. “I’ll be honest. I don’t remember a thing about the plot.” She gave Shadow a glance just before adding, “But those leads were gorgeous! I don’t know who I was more into, the guy or the girl!”

Shadow tensed up at this. Sonic simply laughed. “I guess it was well casted then! But again, not my kinda movie. I need action to keep me interested!”

He started to ramble on about movies he liked. Rouge listened and nodded, but gave Shadow another nudge. It took him a few seconds to realize: she was trying to hint that Sonic was safe. She hadn’t explicitly stated that she liked men and women, but the implication was there at least, and he barely batted an eye at it. That made Shadow a bit more hopeful. He wasn’t ready to tell Sonic the whole truth, but maybe he could at least tell him he might be into men. Maybe it wouldn’t change anything after all.

Rouge seemed to notice the gears turning in Shadow’s head. She gave his arm a few firm pats before standing up. “I just remembered a few chores I need to do around the club! I’ll be back in a bit!”

Shadow gulped. “Rouge-“

“It’s just for a bit!”

Sonic snickered. “Is being left alone with me really that bad?” he joked. “Go ahead, Rouge! It feels like it’s been ages since Shads and I talked one on one!”

Rouge quickly scurried away. Shadow gulped one more time. “We were just talking at the plaza,” he pointed out.

“Rouge was still there though! And that’s not really what I meant.” Sonic rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. Shadow cocked an eyebrow at this. Nervous Sonic felt pretty rare to see. “You never really talked to me about why you went silent like that.”

“I told you that I needed to step away. I don’t know why that’s hard to understand.”

He regretted his tone immediately. Sonic just sighed at it. “Maybe I don’t! But...I can’t shake the feeling that you had something going on. I just want to offer one last time that you can talk to me. I try to be there for all my pals! You just never seem to fully open up to me!” He looked back to Shadow. The sincerity in Sonic’s green eyes made him melt. “If you really really really don’t want to-!”

“Alright! I’ll say it!” Shadow relented. “Rouge has been pestering me about it all day, so I might as well! And if it’ll...” He clenched his fist. “...ease your worry, then I’ll tell you.”

“Really? Shads, that’s-!”

“But don’t go running your mouth, got it? If a single word gets out to anyone else before I’m ready, you’ll have a lot more to worry about than my damn feelings!”

Sonic nodded enthusiastically. “You have my word, dude! Now spill!”

Shadow crossed his arms. He leaned back in his chair for a moment. Then, still silent, he leaned forward again, like he was about to tell a terrible secret. Which he sort of was, he thought to himself. He’d already promised to say it though, so he finally took a last deep breath.

“I don’t...I might not like...women.”

“...Huh?”

“Idiot! I said I don’t think I like women! I...” He rubbed his arm. “I’ve been thinking hard about it. Recently, I...started realizing that...well, if Amy had kept her mouth shut, I wouldn’t have any of it on my mind but...I mean...I probably only like men! That’s all I’m trying to say.”

Sonic paused. He took a swig of his choco, then gave Shadow a reassuring smile. “I guess I’m confused because you still haven’t explained why you locked yourself up.”

Shadow sputtered. “What do you mean? I’m gay, Sonic! I realized I might be gay and it...” He put his head in his hands then. He felt so silly all of a sudden. He felt like this was all so dramatic of him. “It frightened me, alright? I’ll admit it. It frightened me.”

Sonic seemed taken aback by this admission. His smile didn’t falter, though. He reached out a hand a bit, then retracted it. Shadow stared at the hand, then up at him, waiting anxiously for his response. “You didn’t think people would be okay with that?” Shadow nodded sheepishly. “Look, I don’t mean to make it sound like it was dumb of you. Coming out can be scary! But you’re our friend, Shads. We accept each other. Hell, think about how accepting everyone is of you now! It took some time, with the rocky past and all-“

Shadow chuckled in spite of himself. “Thanks for reminding me.”

“Sorry, sorry, but you get what I’m saying! If people are still open to being your friend after all that, they should be open to being your friend after you come out to them. And hey, if they aren’t?” Sonic made a fist and punched it into his other hand. “They can have a little chat with me and get it sorted out. Okay?”

Shadow’s stomach flipped. “I-I can handle myself. But...okay. Thank you.”

“Of course!”

A silence settled between them after that. It wasn’t long, but it also wasn’t too awkward. It was ...warm. Shadow felt so warm inside. He couldn’t help but grin a bit and when he stole a glance up at the hedgehog across from him, Sonic grinned right back. Shadow felt embarrassed and happy and all sorts of emotions. He didn’t have much time to work them out though, since Rouge sauntered back in around then.

“Hey, boys! Got the chores done! Did I miss anything?”

Sonic shot Shadow one last comforting look before responding: “Nah, we just talked. You didn’t need help or anything, did you?”

“Oh no, it was just some tidying. Some laundry. Nothing crazy.” Rouge checked the clock on the wall. “Not to be a bad host, but it seems like it’s getting pretty late in the day. Shads and I have some work to do and you were still looking for presents, weren’t you?”

Sonic bolted out of his chair. “Shoot! You’re right, I should hurry before the stores start closing up! Not long now before the big day!” He gulped down the rest of his hot chocolate. “It was nice hanging with you guys! See you Christmas Day? We’ll be exchanging gifts at my place!”

“As always,” Rouge said. “Hope you get everything you need.”

Sonic sped out the door. As soon as he did, Shadow slumped over on the table and gave a huge sigh of relief. Rouge giggled and sat beside him, patting his back. “Thank Mobius that’s out of the way,” Shadow muttered, his voice muffled by the table.

“What have I been tellin ya? Sonic and his crew are good little beans that couldn’t do you any wrong now that you’re a part of them. But if you still don’t feel safe telling everyone, you don’t have to. It’s completely on your terms.”

Shadow raised his head up. “...Do you really like both men and women or was that just part of your scheme?”

Rouge shrugged. “I prefer not to label myself. I prefer men, of course, but...I don’t know. I feel like it’s day to day sometimes.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

"Sure. Let me level with you, sweetie. I don’t know if anyone in this little group of ours is completely straight. Queers have a way of finding each other.”

Shadow thought about this for a few seconds. It was a bit calming to him. He wasn’t sure she was right, but it gave him something to chew on.

It was a short-lived chew though. “When I said we have work to do, I wasn’t kidding,” Rouge said, using a bit of a snippy tone. “Get up! You’re on dish duty.”

 

* * *

 

_**(12/16)** **Faker:** U feeling any better?_

_**(12/16)** **You:** Yes._

_**(12/16)** **You:** Thank you again. I’m glad to have it off my chest._

Shadow had to admit: it felt good to curl up in bed and eagerly wait for a reply from someone. It was a bit exciting. He felt like having a crush, whether it was on another man or not, could be nice. At the very least it felt...normal.

 

_**(12/16)** **Faker:** I’m glad :D_

_**(12/16)** **Faker:** Oh!_

_**(12/16)** **Faker:** Not to spoil it, but dude...u are gonna loooove what I got u this year_

_**(12/16)** **Faker:** Ur gonna love it so much that u will get embarrassed by ur own shopping skills_

His cheeks burned from blushing and his jaw hurt from smiling.

_**(12/16)** **You:** We’ll see about that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this chapter, kudos are definitely appreciated and if you leave a comment, I’ll be forever in your debt!


	3. a knight in shining armor (or spacesuit, i suppose)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas finally arrives, and the beginning of the day is nice and calm for Shadow. Or at least it would be if he wasn’f So worried about confronting everyone again after his radio silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, I’VE FINISHED! The thought of posting the last chapter of a Christmas fic at the end of March is astounding, but I’m so glad I stuck to it! This is why I write so many one-shots, folks.
> 
> I hope you’ve enjoyed the story up to this point and I hope this will be a satisfying enough ending! Thank you so much to everyone that’s been waiting so patiently!

Shadow shuffled into Rouge’s kitchen just like any other morning. This time though, he found yet another hot cup of choco at his empty seat with a candy cane resting inside. There was also a small bag of coffee beans sat beside it. Rouge turned to him with a tired smile. She raised her own coffee in greeting. Rather than a mug from her own kitchen, she held a cardboard container from the coffee shop a few blocks down. Shadow sighed and joined her at the table.

“They’re open on Christmas Day?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty shitty. Everyone deserves today off.”

“And yet you bought a coffee and supported their decision?”

“Hey, I ran out of stuff here is all! Besides, I was the only customer popping in. Not like I took up that much time...”

Shadow snapped open the bag and popped a few coffee beans in his mouth. He sighed, sinking into his chair. He and Rouge might not have done their gift exchange yet, but she might as well have. She sure knew how to make him happy. He knew he didn’t deserve a friend like her.

Rouge could see the contentment on Shadow’s face and chuckled. “Merry Christmas, by the way.”

“Mm. You too.”

“So...Got any great gifts you’re excited to give out?”

Shadow groaned. Gift exchanges in their friend group were, in general, very lax. There wasn’t an expectation to give everyone a gift. Hell, most years, no one knew who was even gonna show up to the party. It seemed that as long as everyone gave a few, just to their closest friends, everyone would receive at least one.

Shadow was grateful for that, as he was mostly acquaintances with everyone. He talked to them, sure, but he usually had no clue what everyone would want. And whenever he did buy a gift, he second guessed himself until he ended up returning it. He didn’t end up giving any gifts at all the year prior. It worked out though, he supposed, as he didn’t receive any either...well, except from Sonic. That blue ball gave as many gifts as he could afford. Too damn kind, that one. Though Shadow supposed that was part of the reason he liked Sonic so much.

That brought Shadow back to his main concern: Sonic’s gift. Sat by the door was a shoddily wrapped box with a pair of shoes inside. They were bright red - fitting with the blue hedgehog’s typical aesthetic - and they seemed perfectly built for running long distance. Sonic tended to buy many pairs of one shoe he liked and then wore them out as fast as he could run. These would hopefully be more durable...but Shadow was second guessing, as usual. The look of them...something about it was off. Shadow had no clue what, but he was certain Sonic would only accept them out of pity. Everyone could probably tell he wouldn’t be a good gift giver, so he might get a pass, but he couldn’t stand the thought of Sonic throwing them in the back of a closet, never to be worn or even seen.

Rouge snapped in front of Shadow’s eyes. “Hey. No overthinking at breakfast. Don’t think about the shoes.”

“How did you know I was-?”

“It’s pretty obvious! What about the others? Did you get them any gifts? Tell me about those instead.”

“Not...a lot.” Shadow rubbed his chin, trying to remember what he’d stacked along with Sonic’s gift. “When Amy had me bake with her, one of her oven mitts had a hole in it. I picked her up another pair. They were pretty cheap though, I doubt they’ll last very long. And then I got a few tools for Tails. Um. I don’t know if he needs any more of those, they just...were on sale and had a golden handle. Maybe he’d...ugh.”

Rouge put a hand on his shoulder. “They sound great, Shad. Don’t worry about it, I’m sure they’ll appreciate the thought.” She took the hand off and used it to give his shoulder a light punch. “You better not be worrying about your gift to me either! I always take bribes!”

Shadow snorted. “A Christmas present isn’t a bribe.”

“Sure it is! You’re bribing me to be your friend and let you live here!”

He laughed louder. “Nice to know that’s all I’m worth.”

Rouge crossed her arms, smirking. “Hey, the greatest life form needs to be humbled now and again! C’mon, pack up, we gotta head to Sonic’s soon.”

Shadow gulped down another wave of anxiety. “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Shadow could see many silhouettes in the windows of the house. Rouge, who’d been sashaying behind him for the walk over, hip checked him as she approached the front door. Shadow let himself have a moment to take a deep breath.

He didn’t even have time to put his bag of presents with the others before he was being grabbed by Amy and yanked into the kitchen. “Shadow! Thank Mobius, Blaze is running late and nobody else knows what they’re doing!”

“G-Get off me! What are you talking about?”

She slipped on her old oven mitts and opened the oven. A tray of fresh cookies sat inside. They had ornate designs that must have taken a lot of time to sculpt from dough. Shadow leaned closer to admire Amy’s handiwork. “I need to make at _least_ three batches of these but they take so long to cook and I just need an extra pair of hands!” she explained. She reached in and grabbed the tray. She began to mumble “ow, ow, ow” under her breath as she dropped the tray on the counter. She checked her hand. One of her fingers poked right through the mitt, revealing a minor burn. “These damn oven mitts!”

Shadow ripped the oven mitts from Amy’s hands. He yanked her arm under the sink and began to run cool water over it. “Sorry,” he mumbled quietly.

Amy cocked an eyebrow. “For what? I’m the one that burned myself.”

“No, I mean I should’ve given you the...Hold on. Don’t move.”

Shadow sped over to his bag of gifts. As he approached it, he could peek into the other room and see the other party goers. Everyone seemed to be having a nice time; no one had noticed the kitchen mishap yet. Shadow grabbed Amy’s present and ran back to her, beginning to tear it open.

Amy quickly put out her good hand to stop him. “The gift exchange-!”

“It’s for you. You clearly need them sooner rather than later.”

The new oven mitts were white with a yellow plaid strip at the bottom. They were simple, but a bit cute, if Shadow’s tastes were to be trusted. Amy eyed them curiously. She slowly began smiling at Shadow. “They’re wonderful. Thank you, Shadow, I...didn’t expect you to get me anything. I would’ve returned the favor.”

Shadow looked away. “I didn’t expect to either, but I just...Look, it’s not like it’s impressive. Hell, I’m gonna be the first one using them since you’re going to need to be under the water for-“

“It was thoughtful of you. That’s all that matters in a gift, right?”

“...I suppose. Anyway. I’ll get started. Stay there for about...” Shadow checked the clock on the stove. “...let’s say ten more minutes.”

“I’ve got it from here, Shadow, thanks! Hopefully Blaze will get here soon so you won’t be working alone.”

“Mhm.”

Shadow kind of liked to bake, if he was being honest with himself. There was something calming about it; the monotony of mixing, the precision of cracking eggs into a bowl. The little things. It appealed to him. He didn’t have much time to do it between G.U.N. missions though, and he’d be damned if he was going to let Rouge catch him in the kitchen with a tray of brownies, so he tried to enjoy it while he could.

Amy adjusted the water temperature slightly. Shadow gave her a quick glance every now and then to make sure she was still caring for her burn. He could tell she was deep in thought. Eventually, she mumbled, “Hey...Shadow?”

“Yes?”

“...I’m sorry about...the last time we were together. I feel like I got way out of line. I think I made you uncomfortable.”

Shadow sighed. He began to mix the batter, facing Amy as he did. “You’re not wrong about that. But...it’s in the past now. I won’t hold a grudge.”

“I never really made an effort to get to know you until that point and it was so lousy of me to...to try to force that kind of information out of you.“ Amy looked up and gave a sad smile. “It means a lot to me, though. That you’re still willing to help me. I hope we can start off on the right foot this time.”

Shadow blinked. He took a few seconds to process her words before smiling back. “I wouldn’t mind that.” He turned back to the stove and began pouring the batter out into a cookie sheet.

Amy hummed to herself as she checked the time. It had been enough, so she pulled her hand out of the water. “I’ll go see if Sonic has any ointment. Are you alright by yourself?”

“I believe so.”

Now alone, Shadow listened absently to the festivities in the other rooms. Every once in awhile, the crowd would burst into laughter. Shadow was letting himself relax and adjust to the situation when he suddenly saw bright blue out of the corner of his eye. Then, not even a second later, there was a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey Shad! Glad you could make it, bud!”

“Sonic. Host of the hour.” Shadow dusted his hands. Flour floated to the tile floor below. “Shouldn’t you be mingling with your guests?”

Sonic snorted. “They can handle losing me for a second,” he said. “I actually came in to ask you something.”

“Oh. Erm...Make it quick then, I suppose.”

“Is it cool if I give you your gift privately?”

Shadow paused. Sonic, the ultimate show boat, wanted privacy for the gift that would supposedly blow Shadow’s mind wide open. It was a bit of a shocker, to say the least, but Shadow nodded in acceptance. “No complaints here.”

“Cool! I just thought that...Well, if I explain, I’ll spoil it.”

There was a certain giddiness in the way he was speaking. Shadow felt a bit...flattered? Was that an appropriate reaction? “Don’t explain, then. Go back to the rest of the party. Unless you’re planning on helping in the kitchen...?”

Sonic laughed, shaking his head. He quickly scurried over to where he was before. Shadow sighed, letting his tense shoulders drop. Just as he began to work again, Amy poked her head around the corner. She greeted him, a bit of a disappointed sound to it, but quickly put on a happier expression to get back to baking.

 

* * *

 

Shadow spent a lot of time in the kitchen. So much so that when he, Amy, and eventually Blaze were finished with the cookies, he didn’t have much else to do. He wandered about aimlessly, weaving through the crowd, sharing small talk every now and then. He knew people a bit better than he had in past years, but Shadow still felt awkward. Parties just weren’t his cup of tea, he supposed.

Luckily, just as he was beginning to get exhausted by it all, the gift exchange began. Everyone focused on their own gifts and the gifts they gave others, so Shadow didn’t have any eyes on him for the most part. He reached under the tree and pulled out Tails’s present. He could see the young fox sat on the staircase, a stack of gifts beside him as he was reading a card. Shadow quietly set his gift onto the top of the pile. It got Tails’s attention.

“Oh! Thanks Shadow! Uh...I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“Don’t mention it. I wasn’t expecting anything.”

Tails grinned knowingly. “Sonic didn’t give you yours yet, huh?”

Shadow cocked an eyebrow. The child seemed a tad playful about it. Teasing, even. What was there to be so coy about? What the hell was this gift going to be? A small part of Shadow’s mind thought it might be a big joke. A prank. But Shadow tried to push the worry away.

“No. He...asked it to be done privately. I assume sometime after the party is over.”

“Alright, cool. He followed my advice then!”

Shadow blinked. “What do you-?”

“Oh wow!” As if he’d perfectly timed it, Tails opened Shadow’s gift. He held up the tools and examined them carefully.

Shadow looked away bashfully. “Th-They’re nothing special.”

“No, they’re great! I love the colors! And they look pretty sturdy!” Tails held a screwdriver, turning it over a few times. “They should last awhile!”

“Well...good. I’m glad they’re sufficient.”

Sonic seemed to have heard Tails’s excitement from across the house, because he suddenly appeared beside the staircase, looking over Shadow’s shoulder at the present. “Woah, Tails! Those look awesome!”

Once again, Tails grinned slyly. “ _Shadow_ gave them to me.”

Sonic didn’t seem to notice the emphasis - or if he did, he didn’t mention it. Shadow, on the other hand, let it simmer for a second. Why was Tails acting so strange? He tried to shake it off again. He didn’t really know Tails all that well, did he? Maybe nothing was abnormal. Maybe that was just...his normal smile?

Sonic said a few more things to Tails that Shadow couldn’t really hear over the rest of the party’s excitement. Then he was suddenly being turned away from everyone. Sonic began to whisper, almost conspiratorially.

“That was awesome of you. Thanks.”

“Wh-Why are _you_ thanking me? It was a gift for him, not for you!”

“Yeah, but I just...He seemed so happy with it. I mean, to me it just looks like another box of tools, but clearly there’s something good about them. When I gave him my gift earlier, he wasn’t nearly as ecstatic.”

Shadow was taken aback. “I...” He gulped down the anxiety and tried to play it off. “Even here I’ve upstaged you, then. Faker.”

Sonic burst out laughing at that. A few heads turned because of the volume of it. Shadow regretted his words now that he was being looked at, but Sonic’s loud laugh was making him feel light as a feather. It sounded so happy and relaxed and Shadow wanted to absorb it and feel that way too.

“Alright, I oughta hand this off to Amy.” Sonic pulled a hand from behind his back to reveal a small jewelry box. It was unwrapped, but a tiny pink ribbon was tied in a bow at the corner. “Once everyone else leaves, meet me back here at the staircase. I’ll give you your gift then.”

Shadow nodded. Sonic gave him a wink and began searching for Amy in the crowd. Shadow quickly excused himself to the kitchen, where no one was in at that particular moment. He placed his hand on his chest and tried to calm his heart beat. So much complimenting from Sonic, along with that laugh and that wink...Shadow didn’t know how he was expected to survive the rest of the party.

He counted himself lucky that Sonic remained so occupied for the rest of the festivities. He didn’t see the blue blur at all until after all the guests left.

 

* * *

 

“You’re sure you want me to go on ahead?”

“Yes, please do. I don’t expect this to take long. I’ll be right behind you.”

Rouge sighed. Clutching the tote bag of gifts in her hand just a bit tighter, she gave Shadow a thumbs up. “Text me if you need anything. If I get home before you, I’ll leave the back door unlocked.”

“Thank you, Rouge.”

It didn’t quell his unease to send her off. It gave him no pleasure. But if Sonic wanted to meet in private, it wouldn’t make much sense to make her wait around. Shadow let himself stand in front of the door, his hand hovering over the knob.

“It’s just a Christmas gift,” Shadow mumbled to himself. “Nothing more, nothing less. It’s Sonic. Nothing more, nothing...less.”

Sonic, as promised, was sat on his staircase. The small box in his hands looked similar to the one he gave Amy, but there was actually wrapping this time, with a deep red ribbon.Shadow gulped and clutched his own gift tighter. He could feel the paper tear a bit under his gloves.

Sonic perked up when he turned the corner. “Aw, you got me one too?”

Shadow felt an urge to snark back at him. Why would he give gifts to Tails and Amy but not him? Why would Shadow think twice about it? What did it matter anyway? But any words he thought of died in his throat. All he could do was mumble, “Yes.”

Sonic, in his typical lightening speed, swiped the gift away. He tore off about half the wrapping before pausing. “Oh shoot...you don’t mind me going first, do you?”

Shadow had to laugh a bit. “No. Go ahead,” he urged.

“Sweet!”

Shadow’s stomach twisted into tighter and tighter knots every second Sonic spent unwrapping. He pulled the lid of the box and finally revealed the shoes, those damn stupid shoes. But rather than force a smile or a thank you, Sonic excitedly kicked off his current, ratty pair, and swapped them with the new ones. Shadow stared blankly as Sonic began to speed around the house in them. Testing them out, he supposed.

Within a minute or two, Sonic returned. He plopped back down on the stairs and admired the sneakers. “They’re so comfy! And they still look untouched after I ran ‘em all over! These are awesome!”

Shadow gulped, nodding slightly. “That’s...good.”

Sonic laughed. He paused to look down at the small gift on the step beside him. It was like he’d forgotten the whole point of pulling Shadow aside in the first place. He picked it up again. “Here, actually...Turn around.”

“Excuse me?”

“Turn around! It’ll be a better surprise!” When Shadow didn’t budge, Sonic gave him a teasing smirk. “What? Trust me!”

Shadow huffed and did as he was told. He heard rustling. Then, a tiny grunt of frustration. His ear twitched with curiosity, but he remained still. Finally, Sonic’s hands fell at either side of him, and he felt some sort of chain being draped around his neck. Shadow tensed up in surprise. When Sonic pulled his hands away, Shadow waited a beat before turning back around and looking down at what was given to him.

It seemed like a simple necklace; just a small pendant on a cheap gold chain. But when Shadow lifted the pendant and looked at it, he froze. Unlike the chain, the charm was intricately designed. It had a stained glass look to it, forming a familiar scene. A girl looking out the window of a tall tower, her hair draped over and falling down the side. The sunset backdrop and soft colors matched perfectly with the storybook that had caused all the mixed emotions Shadow had felt this holiday. He had no idea how someone would even find something like this.

“Do...Do you like it?”

Shadow looked back up. Sonic looked nervous now, scratching the back of his neck, watching earnestly. Shadow felt his eyes burn a bit, and he had to quickly look away and blink away tears. Part of him hated the vulnerability he was showing, but it couldn’t be helped.

“You don’t have to wear it around or anything!” Sonic continued. “I just thought maybe it’d be nice to have! So whenever you think of- or shoot, maybe you don’t want to be reminded of-“

“I love it,” Shadow mumbled. “Th...Thank you...Sonic...”

Sonic sighed in relief. “Good, good.” He smiled so warmly it made Shadow’s chest ache. “...Told ya I knew what you’d want.”

Shadow couldn’t bring himself to laugh at Sonic’s words. He instead simply reached out and touched Sonic’s hand. It was just a gentle nudge, but Sonic seemed to understand in an instant. He intertwined their fingers and rubbed his thumb against the back of Shadow’s glove.

“...Can I walk you home?”

Shadow let out a sigh. “If...you’d like.”

 

* * *

 

They held hands the entire walk to Club Rouge. When they got to the front of the building, Sonic smiled at Shadow one last time, squeezing his hand. Shadow smiled back. He found genuine happiness so hard to give at times, but this was easily worth the effort. He’d never seen the blue hedgehog blush that hard.

Rouge greeted Shadow when he walked inside. He didn’t give detailed answers to her questions. For once, she didn’t pry too much. It seemed pretty clear that everything had gone well. Shadow practically glowed all the way to his room.

He didn’t feel like he had a proper place to hold such a beautiful necklace. Shadow was certain he could find a nice way to display the pendant at least, but how could he make sure it was safe? Where would be the best spot? He yawned, realizing it’d have to wait until he wasn’t exhausted. He set the necklace on his bedside table. He was about to put his phone down beside it when the phone buzzed. He flipped it over and let the screen’s light wash over his face.

 

 ** _(12/25) Faker:_** Thanks again for coming, Shads! And for the shoes! Hope you have a good rest of your night

 ** _(12/25) Faker:_** <3

Shadow flopped onto his back and stared at his phone. He burned the heart emote into his memory. It found a nice spot in his brain between Sonic’s wink and his blushing smile.

 

 _ **(12/25) You:**_ Good night, Sonic

 ** _(12/25) You_** : <3

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted them to kiss originally! Because every good Christmas story should end with some mistletoe crap, right? But no, it didn’t feel quite right. I think Shadow would need to take things really slow! 
> 
> Rambling aside, thanks again for reading! I don’t currently have any other Sonic fics up, but if you happen to like Sanders Sides, I’ve got plenty of those! I hope to write more Sonic in the future though -w-


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